Arathi Ma – Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

Arathi Ma – Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

“To get over the past, you must first admit that it is over.” It’s over, no matter how many times you revisit it, dissect it, regret it, or sweat it.” Mandatory Hale

Heartbreak. It’s a difficult situation to be in. And the pain—isn’t it real? As in actual suffering. It’s almost as though that individual branded our hearts with tiny little hooks that are being yanked out one by one during our time together. That may seem dramatic, but that is how it felt to me!

This most recent breakup has been the most crucial in my life. I assumed I would spend the rest of my life with this individual. The brutal truth of it no longer being true might be difficult to bear.

But you know how time heals, don’t you? As a general rule, never say something to someone who is experiencing heartbreak! While this is correct, it is extremely ineffective.

Returning to that location, I wondered how much time had passed. Were we discussing days, weeks, months, or years? Relying on time is insufficient, and it differs for each individual. I needed to feel better right then, even if it was just a little bit better.

I thought I’d share a few of the things I did to alleviate the agony of sorrow in its early and raw phases. If you’re going through this right now, I truly hope they can assist you.

Wallow.

Allow yourself some time to cry and cocoon at home if you feel drawn to do so. Don’t worry about what you believe you should do or what others advise you to do for the first day or two. You must carry out your responsibilities.

Make contact with someone.

You may have spent a few days alone, so you need to get out of your head and spend time with someone dear to you and whom you trust. In that period of loss, my own thoughts were my deadliest adversary.

You may want to chat about the problem, which is OK, but try not to rant so much that you incite further wrath (and avoid spending time with others who would promote this as well).

At first, I made this mistake, which resulted in more wasted mascara and the impression that I’d taken three steps back. So I just let go and spent time with my mother and a handful of female friends who truly cared about me and with whom I felt entirely at ease and didn’t have to put on a show. Being around someone who is nurturing may be really soothing.

Delete your ex’s social media accounts.

I started by removing him from my Facebook friend list. It appears silly, but it was a stumbling block in and of itself. But I knew that looking at what he was doing, who he was with, and then assuming what was going on in his life would only compound the suffering and do nothing to cure the loss.

I also believe that if the relationship ended extremely horribly and there is no genuine reason to retain contact (and be very honest with yourself on this one), you should erase their phone number so you aren’t tempted to SMS them. You will realize that each day of no interaction makes you feel a bit better.

Try something fresh that has nothing to do with your ex.

Reclaim your identity as a person. Heartbreak is often characterized by a sense of emptiness. So start making new memories to commemorate this new chapter, since it’s a terrific method to accelerate the process of moving on.

It may be anything, but it must be something personal to you. Join a dancing class, a course, or a sports group—ideally, something that includes other people, as new social contacts and meeting friends is a terrific way to start healing from sorrow.

For one month, commit to avoiding looking at old photographs, letters, or messages, or listening to songs that remind you of your ex.

I removed any music from my iTunes library that reminded me of him since I knew hearing them so quickly would make me feel depressed. I haven’t even put them back on yet. These things will eventually become lovely recollections, but for the time being, concentrating on them will intensify the misery and anguish.

You can feel better knowing you’re not saying goodbye to them forever if you establish an initial time period of one month (you might decide you want to later down the line but you can think about that then). You’re simply choosing not to put yourself through any further misery by connecting with them right now.

Laugh!

Watch a humorous movie (a particular favorite of mine is Grown Ups), go to a comedy show, or go out with your closest friends for the sole purpose of having fun.

I don’t encourage drinking excessively since it seems to amplify any emotion I’m experiencing at the time, and I don’t always make the greatest judgments as a result. However, everyone’s situation is unique.

The goal is to get out and do whatever makes you laugh or smile, and to be among people that make you feel good, pull you up, and show you that things will get better.

Laughing is fantastic for a quick change in mood, so do everything you can to laugh as much as possible!

Let go and learn.

If you’ve done all of the above, you should feel a little better and have a restored sense of optimism and perspective. You may even be eager to begin this new chapter.

This reminds me of the scene in the film 500 Days of Summer where the main character Tom begins drawing skylines on his wall. He’s moved over the first sadness and is inspired to pour his emotions into his passion for architecture.

Consider all you wish to accomplish and achieve. Consider how you can utilize this experience to propel yourself ahead. What new habits do you want to incorporate into your life, what sorts of experiences do you want to have, and who do you want to meet?

It’ll be difficult for a time, but that’s okay. Heartbreak is a crushing experience, but it is also an incredible catalyst for releasing raw emotion and creativity that may be harnessed in a constructive way.

It’s led me on a journey of self-discovery, and while I’ve felt vulnerable, it’s forced me to confront aspects of myself that the relationship may have concealed.

Also, try your hardest to let go of any anger, as it will simply make you hold to that terrible emotion even harder. Moving on truly requires forgiveness.

—

There’s no denying that heartbreak is terrible. All of these tips are simply suggestions for things that have made my personal trip a little bit simpler.

There is no quick remedy, but the more you gently push yourself in various ways each day, the more insight you will gain on the subject.

I don’t think there can be any definite conclusion on how to cope with heartbreak. Just that with each tiny step ahead, each time you look back, it will be less painful.

COURSE CONTENT